Intent and Expectations

Have you ever been made “wrong” for not responding in a timely and proper manner by someone?  There was some sort of punishment/repercussion(s)?

I lately have had this issue coming up…with men…were there was some sort of expectation to respond pronto and in a certain way…and when I did not…then…you guess what…

I have worked very hard on not judging people for their choices…I recognize, I am not perfect…nor do I ever expect or want to be…yet, to understand this situation, I placed myself in their shoes…and yes, sometimes it sucks…but it all begins to setting expectations…

To deal with this issue I had in the past of having expectations and feeling awfully disappointed and not allowing myself to leave in the moment, I now ask myself each and every time (seriously): Do I have expectations from asking, calling, doing something for someone…etc? 

Let’s say: I call someone I am interested in…It is ”Normal”, by current society standards, to expect to get a call back…a response of some sort…right?!  And I am not talking about “business” here…

How do I know there is an expectation?   If you are patient with yourself and ask yourself the question before proceeding…feelings would come up…such as fear…anxiety…

So ask yourself, what if he/she does not answer? How would I feel?  If the answers feel awful, then I encourage you not to do it…but rather attend to your feelings…bring your masculine side and take care of you…

It is not the end of the world…Perfect takes practice…So, just do it! Forgive yourself and practice noticing…Lets say hours pass by…days pass by and no response from this person…we feel awful…disappointment…maybe even anger…due to feeling rejected possibly and having “expectations”?  

Well, it does not matter what the reason(s) is…what matter is the feeling(s) we experience after…and if it were only for the feelings…we would actually be okay…because feelings once “felt” deeply they move through our body and change…from crying to happy etc…

However, our thoughts become our enemy because now, we are “imagining” and “translating” into our mind all kinds of scenarios of betrayal, disrespect, of what he/she was doing/thinking…we are getting into their business…etc…

Learning and accepting someone’s right to BE and Do whatever they want to…and that meaning treating me as bad as they want to…also Frees me to Honor myself and say No to what does not feel good to me…Which means I have the right not to participate…I have the right to walk away…I have the right to say No…How powerful and empowering is that?