To Pose...or Not to Pose...that is the Question

I was recently asked if I would pose in lingerie…pics, possibly fashion shows…I feel blushy just imagining it, while I admit, feeling awfully flattered for being asked…I lingered over my hesitation by first facing my own self judgments…On one hand, yes, I am not feeling that confident about  my physical body at this moment and then, even imaging being as “perfect” as I would like to be, I would still say “no”…and why? …Hmm…I pondered over the answer. I can talk and listen to you very openly about many “intimate” sexual matters…yet, I ultimately view intimacy at a sexual and emotional level as a private encounter…known only to me and my partner…

I often find myself smiling and admiring women exhibiting confidence in their display of physical beauty and with sexual connotations…And, I often wondered why am I not like them? Apparently, I have it in me since I appreciate it in them…

Just because someone exudes confidence on the outside it does not mean they exude confidence within…In these present times, the higher the desire for public attention through sexual exhibition the lower confidence of inner self  …Knowing this, gave me comfort because I feel very confident and poised in an intimate encounter…yet, I feel awfully insecure outside of the "bedroom"…Sigh :(

Behind the feeling of insecurity is often fear (and not fear of self or other's judgment…but rather an icky, uncomfortable feeling)… Just writing this, this icky and uncomfortable feeling translates into rapid heartbeat…pressure in my chest…slow breathing...I take deep breaths expanding and contracting into my tummy…opening my pelvis…allowing complete connection to Self to feel safe once again.

And here in this moment, I connect with my own truth...at this present time...:)

Knowing Self- frees me of unnecessary wonder…it is not Me, it’s not my calling…Sexuality in any form of expression is a private and sacred experience to me…The world that I believe in and I want to be a part of creating…is a world where man and woman would be filled with sooo much self-love …that there will be noooo need to desire outside stimulation and/or fantasy to have the most amazing, infinite love possible (sexual and emotional) between two human beings…and this, I Believe is Possible…

And yet, today...I reserve my right to change my beautiful creative mind...and allow a less self-limiting possibility...and who knows...it is possible to have it all...a public display of a confident sexual Diva - expressing sexual desires...and the ultimate mind-blowing infinite love possible with one Man... Not sure about you, but I feel greedy this moment...and I want it All! Cheers to the infinite possibilities!