Commitment in a Relationship – People are ready when they are ready…not a minute late…not a minute short…
Practicing being open and vulnerable while dating often hurts like heck…We close our hearts to “stop” the pain…but with that we do not allow healing to take place…but rather, we store our “demons” in the attic of our subconscious…get involved in new relationships…and once again recreate the same scenario of disappointments…
The past year, I’ve been constantly practicing keeping my heart open. Boy it hasn’t been easy…People we meet - could have a message for us…or we could be messengers to them… I have experienced both…on one hand, the experience with a man, reassures me how ready I am …how emotionally available and present I’ve become…how I amazingly have faced and overcome so many of my self-demons (or shadows…)…how loving and forgiving I am, and so on…it’s like a Wow moment of awareness;… …and on the other hand, I could be the message (if chosen to be seen as one)…that yes, complete loving, caring, feminine, strong women, do exist…
And yet (sigh), I also learned it is not sufficient for a woman to have healed her heart, to have acquired the growth and awareness within…because there is also a need for total willingness and commitment on your partner to walk the path along with you…We can inspire someone …but we can’t make someone…do anything…(okay, maybe some spanking would do it…lol…just kidding…had to add a bit of my sense of humor lol).
I often notice doubts and fears in the person next to me coming in the form of blaming; suspicion; playing the “game” card, passive aggression behavior…but what I choose to see is a cry for help…a cry that says “don’t leave me even though I know I act like an idiot, and by the way please don’t remind me of it”[sigh]
I feel like cringing at these experiences; I often feel pain and disappointments, and yet I allow my heart to express compassion…why? Because I’ve been this person…I’ve faced my demons…and walked the surrendering path…Getting to the place of self-compassion allowed me to connect and feel compassion towards them…and finally, understand and believe in the meaning of “innocence” in our brothers and sisters…
That being said, these men chose not to stick around. While in the past, I would take it personally, feeling angry, rejected and bitter…now, I know they are yet not ready for an experience with me and likely, I am not the “One"… I feel deep sadness and a bit a sense of loss…but with each door closed, I believe…another door…the right door for me, opens…and that Door is sure Worth Waiting for…
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